I could hardly sleep for an hour and was tired of thinking a good deal. On the spur of the moment, there was a loud knock on the door. The nurse came up with a tray full of DNS bottles, injections, tablets, BP machine, etc. My mom screamed out loud in pain at the slightest prick of a needle. I was trembling all over knowing not what made her scream. Later, my mom took me near and exclaimed in a soft voice…………I am not able to take even the slightest of pain. At the moment, I felt I should bring down heaven so that my mom would not have any kind of pain in her life. At the back of my mind, some irrational emotional calculation was going on. Some chattering……my mom delivered three of the normal way, enduring so much of pain then and today she could not even bear the prick of an injection needle. How weak and sensitive she has grown…….I was speechless to answer or say some encouraging words to her. Then there stood a nurse with a surgery gown and a wheel chair.
By then, my younger sister came. She looked very pale and could not say anything. Both of us helped my mom get dressed up in that gown. She looked further weak in that. Both of we sisters smiled and ushered my mom that she is going to be healthy and normal once again. It was like a mother knowing that it’s going to be painful for her child to go through all that but she has no option elsewise. For a moment, I was playing a mother to my mom. Finally, we reached the OT where the exact tailoring of bodies takes place. That’s the place where bodies are cut and sewn like fabrics. The only peculiarity is in this boutique room, the tailor (doctor) cuts as per his knowledge about measurements and your taste and choice has no role. For the first time in life, I could see the OT so close. It was dominantly made of steel. Everything inside was cold. The sliding doors of the OT were damn solid and hard hearted. It has shut down the boldest voices of the world. The nurse advised one of us to stay with my mom inside the front section of the OT, where the family person limit ends.
My mother was totally armoured to fight her worst fears …. her worst battle. At that moment, I requested God sternly and sincerely. I just prayed ” God, you may be damn busy and you may be having too many priorities but today, I want you to leave all those and come to my mom as she needs you more than anyone in this world now.” With the equal naïve and innocence, I prayed and convinced myself that it is done. God was standing beside my mom holding her hands and ushering comfort and peace. I was dwelling in this feeling and suddenly, my mom drifted her hand away from me. I was time for the surgery. Everything inside the OT was set. The table was ready, doctors were ready but my heart and mind………. My mom was not ready to leave me. I stared at her helplessly. She turned to me and stared at me until my vision in her eyes got blurred. That look has many perspectives, it evoked many questions. It unveiled many truths. The first feeling I had about that look was very saddening…….. she looked at me so deeply and dearly as if she was not going to see me again……… as if she was done with her life. This emotion was so strong that my mind dint attend to think of other reasons behind her dead look. The doors were closed and everything got shut down. No mind, no thoughts, no heart, no feelings.
Few tedious hours passed and my mom was wheeled out of the OT. She was there in all her peace but something was missing………. Damn! her uterus was missing. Its gone forever. There, standing in my worst moments of life, I realized that my mom’s womb, where I first breathed my life…….is gone. ….How bizarre to learn that mother’s womb is the first place, our first house where we start our life. My God chosen house, my first home…….my mom’s womb. Indeed, it was the priceless home I ever had in my life.