The Inverse!

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Pigment I myself on a calico canvas, in paled hues
Gray clouds sedate me and chafes me the rainbows.
Gates of spring in me, parades the nameplate of fall;
Immure I my self, backside of the absolving wall.
Uninventive and juice-less I lie, along the river soil,
Athirst I remain, neath the slaking rainfall’s toil.
In bunches I pass, yet trammeled to me, is my talk;
Seas of silence I hoard, a driblet of serenity I lack.
Illume I, a taper of hope, ahead my closed sight;
Yet euphorically cleaves, the dourest despair, tight.


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Dream- A Caged Cloud!

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An impeccant dream, missed in time’s leap;

Buried to arouse from the slumber so deep.

Fear swigged and stilled in ocean of my sighs;

Pocked to essence and caged in my free eyes.

Trusting to booze from the realism’s lil stream;

Waitressed in the duskiness to testify its gleam.

Unaware; it was mere a mute and lapsing cloud,

Damned to rain. Rising to stay? No, not allowed.


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My Mom’s womb- My God chosen home. PART-II

 I could hardly sleep for an hour and was tired of thinking a good deal. On the spur of the moment, there was a loud knock on the door. The nurse came up with a tray full of DNS bottles, injections, tablets, BP machine, etc. My mom screamed out loud in pain at the slightest prick of a needle.  I was trembling all over knowing not what made her scream. Later, my mom took me near and exclaimed in a soft voice…………I am not able to take even the slightest of pain. At the moment, I felt I should bring down heaven so that my mom would not have any kind of pain in her life. At the back of my mind, some irrational emotional calculation was going on. Some chattering……my mom delivered three of the normal way, enduring so much of pain then and today she could not even bear the prick of an injection needle. How weak and sensitive she has grown…….I was speechless to answer or say some encouraging words to her. Then there stood a nurse with a surgery gown and a wheel chair.

By then, my younger sister came. She looked very pale and could not say anything. Both of us helped my mom get dressed up in that gown. She looked further weak in that. Both of we sisters smiled and ushered my mom that she is going to be healthy and normal once again. It was like a mother knowing that it’s going to be painful for her child to go through all that but she has no option elsewise. For a moment, I was playing a mother to my mom. Finally, we reached the OT where the exact tailoring of bodies takes place. That’s the place where bodies are cut and sewn like fabrics. The only peculiarity is in this boutique room, the tailor (doctor) cuts as per his knowledge about measurements and your taste and choice has no role.  For the first time in life, I could see the OT so close. It was dominantly made of steel. Everything inside was cold. The sliding doors of the OT were damn solid and hard hearted. It has shut down the boldest voices of the world. The nurse advised one of us to stay with my mom inside the front section of the OT, where the family person limit ends.

 My mother was totally armoured to fight her worst fears …. her worst battle. At that moment, I requested God sternly and sincerely. I just prayed ” God, you may be damn busy and you may be having too many priorities but today, I want you to leave all those and come to my mom as she needs you more than anyone in this world now.” With the equal naïve and innocence, I prayed and convinced myself that it is done. God was standing beside my mom holding her hands and ushering comfort and peace. I was dwelling in this feeling and suddenly, my mom drifted her hand away from me. I was time for the surgery. Everything inside the OT was set. The table was ready, doctors were ready but my heart and mind………. My mom was not ready to leave me. I stared at her helplessly. She turned to me and stared at me until my vision in her eyes got blurred. That look has many perspectives, it evoked many questions. It unveiled many truths. The first feeling I had about that look was very saddening…….. she looked at me so deeply and dearly as if she was not going to see me again……… as if she was done with her life. This emotion was so strong that my mind dint attend to think of other reasons behind her dead look. The doors were closed and everything got shut down. No mind, no thoughts, no heart, no feelings.

Few tedious hours passed and my mom was wheeled out of the OT. She was there in all her peace but something was missing………. Damn! her uterus was missing. Its gone forever. There, standing in my worst moments of life, I realized that my mom’s womb, where I first breathed my life…….is gone. ….How bizarre to learn that mother’s womb is the first place, our first house where we start our life. My God chosen house, my first home…….my mom’s womb. Indeed, it was the priceless home I ever had in my life.

 

Gimme Your Fat!!!!

I have a skinny sister”Mahi” who always sinks into depression whenever she encounters healthy and fat people. I used to sit along with her while she wonders…….. “What is that which makes them so fat?”  At times I used to fear what if, by any good misfortune, I become fat and Mahi wonder looking at me and say, “What is that which makes her so fat?” This sheer thought was enough for me to keep check on my diet.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I had nothing more to do except imagining at my heights. I was fond of imagination since my childhood. All the memorable things I cherished in life, I accredit to my task of imagination. I was with all my elegance, lying on the couch. Mahi was just out of her slumber and was hunting for some place to lean. The room was all-empty except the couch on which I was lying and a chair that was overburdened with Mahi’s MBA books. I was closely watching her movements. I was sure that a girl who is not able to bear the content inside the books would definitely fail to bear the combined weight of the content, pages and hardcover of the books. I was always fortunate with my guesses. Finding nothing to lean against, she came to me, stood for a few seconds, stared directly in to my eyes, which kicked my imagination. I imagined almighty bestowing her with super power that can engulf anything with just a stare. Her warm back that she rested against my semi warm shoulder blades shook me out of my imagination. I asked her, “You are completely done with your so called sleep debt but why are you still looking grave?” To which she answered, “Yes! I am done with my sleep. I am worried about my skin. It has no fat underneath to back up. Even the stupid computer thing has a back up. Why only me…………..?” Hearing this, I was propelled to invite her into my world of fantasy, where I just bask under my imagination. I promptly asked “Are you interested in being fat like others of whom you wonder?” She just jumped on her knees, held my hand and said, LETS GO PLEASE.

We spared no second to lie down, side by side, but in a reverse direction on the small couch. If someone happened to view from the top angle, we would resemble two matchsticks side by side with two black spots opposite to one another contrasting on a white couch. I nudged Mahi’s right cheek with my right foot signalling the start of our journey. She gently reciprocated – her right foot to my right cheek. She always reciprocates everything-especially the insults! There we took off graciously bidding sayonara to the reality and escaping into our imaginary world. Surrounding things cordially waved at us and we shut our eyes, they too reciprocated by shutting off at us. 1-2-3 and done! There we landed on a fantasy ground with our eyes still shut. Some unpopular voice kissed our ears. It said, “Buy 1Kg of fat and get fat fixing glue free.” Mahi looked at me in utter amazement. I could observe all her senses exchanging glee. Before I could utter a word, she just ran chasing the voice. All I could hear was Mahi on top of her pitch saying “Eureka! Eureka! I found him.” Grown greedy of fat, she was not able to contain herself seeing so much of fat out there. There were only two stores- one store selling the fat for thin people and the other store buying the fat from the fat people. She immediately bought all the fat for herself. Her happiness doubled the moment the fat vendor handed her the fat fixing glue free. While she was busy sticking all the fat to her body, I being little business minded, was wondering what if I put a third store for both selling and buying. I was sure no lazy bums would hesitate to coming to such store, as they do not want to run their shoes to different stores. They would be happy to have a one-stop destination for their buying and selling needs. I would buy the fat for a lesser price and sell it to others at a bit higher price. This business thought was interrupted by the hefty shadow that was overcasting me. It was the Fat Fabricated Mahi. She was not able to walk without support. The unseasoned and instant fat dampened her gait completely. She held my arm while taking steps. I questioned, “Are you okay?” She promptly remarked, “I could feel my fat but since my bones are not used to carry such weight, they are just shaking underneath. It takes some time anyways for them to be adjusted with the new inclusion.” We were so engrossed that we failed to notice the wide pit ahead. She stumbled to ground. I guess she wanted a company even there. As she was holding my arm, she drifted me to the ground. We were living our imagination to the core. Thinking how could anyone live so? Here is the proof. Mahi literally slipped from the couch. It was timely tuned, Mahi falling in the pit with the heftiness of fat in the fantasy world and she landing on the floor from the couch in the real world took place simultaneously. Then I too followed her in the real room – real couch – real floor. The reality stacked me exactly over her thin body. Hearing the thuddddddddddd, mom cam running, trying to understand the scene. She sternly asked pointing at me, “What did you do to her?” I answered with my eyes diving deep beyond the flooring, as I was scared to face my mom’s unsatisfied look. I murmured saying, “All the self help books I read taught me that one should feel what we want in life. Mahi wanted fat and I was making her feel fat through the imagination technique so that she would one day become fat in real.” Mahi was lying on the floor in complete and perfect stillness. To me, she resembled a completely even CHAPATHI (Flat Indian Bread). After a calm of few seconds, there came a storm. Wondering reading the word STORM? Its synonym of my Mom’s taunt. She came so close that I could hear her heart beat and in that anxiety, my heart skipped a beat. She held my arm so tightly that all the nerves, veins, muscles beneath my skin cried for help jumping out of their usual place. Pointing her ever-ready index finger at my motionless sister, she stated – YOU HAVE NOT MADE HER FAT. YOU HAVE MADE HER FLAT ON THE GROUND INDEED.Image